How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days
I should re-write that movie so that it resembles actual real life events. Operation Bootycall to Boyfriend has been aborted and abandoned. I called a cease and desist order on it as of midnight.
I went into the mission with one goal: maintain my stance on where I am and ask that he meet ME there, instead of the other way around like it historically has been between us. This was no easy feat. I tend to have a weakness for him and I ALWAYS let vagina logic creep in. This time I had a strong will to see, once and for all, if this man had what it takes to be in my life, on my terms, and at the same time find out if I could offer him what he needed without compromising me in the process.
Well things started out with more initiative on his part to spend vertical time with me. Just having him make effort has always been a point of contention with us and I don't know why. He feels like I should call him all the time and he actually keeps a tally on how much he calls me (irks the hell out of me and I let him know that). He continuously mentions the ratio of calls from him to me in proportion to my calls to him. This has always been an argument in the past, but this time, I refused to entertain that entire issue. I figure that I work full-time, in addition to taking some ass-kicking courses full-time, and I already have very little leisure time to even do things that I want to do ALONE, let alone time to think about calling him every free moment of every day, on top of planning (non-sexual) things for us to do.
Now, I have tried to be more accommodating for him in the past, when I was REALLY feeling him. I would call to hear his voice, call to check on him, plan stuff for us to do, but this time he is courting ME. This doesn't mean I expected him to do all the work, but I wanted to see effort on his part. So I wanted to sit back and watch his effort and I would RECIPROCATE. So I didn't call him, but I did return his calls, which, in my opinion, is more than fair. I figure we are waaay past that whole stage of I don't want to appear too needy, so I won't call too much or too often that is common with someone NEW. He ain't new in THAT sense.
So operation B2B commenced after our lunch date 10 days ago when I agreed to let him court me. He started out calling to check on me each day, and I think one morning, he even called to wish me a good day (first time!). He was supposed to attend Vibe Fest but his ticket hook up didn't come through. He calls me during the entire show, then when I left, he calls to see where I will be after the show, and we go back and forth on whether he will see me out or meet me at home. Finally, I head home and he tells me that he wants to "come over to hold me and go to sleep". I tell him there will be no sexing so that he knows upfront and he verbally agreed to that. He said he respects my wishes and just wants to be near me. The fireman sighting had me feeling like I needed to be held so I was using him for comfort. Not fair, but I knew that is why I was more agreeable.
So, on the way home he calls my cell and asks me to meet him because he is stopping for something to eat. I am hungry too so we get some food and head to my place. I can tell he has been drinking because he is really chatty and rambles on and on about nuthin. So we get to my place and he is telling me about the Tyson fiasco that he watched. He gets up and starts cleaning my kitchen. I am looking at him as if he had 9 heads. The kitchen had a few dishes in the sink but he starts wiping the counters down, sweeping the floors, and the whole time he is rambling about Tyson. Well it is already late so I take a shower and get in the bed. Mr. Clean finally tires and joins me and we go to sleep with some great spooning action (sweet!)
The next morning I am awakened by him trying to get morning loving. Now see? I am usually a big fan of morning lovin, I absolutely think mornings were made for it, but today is not the day to slip into our old habits. So Krpyt gets ejected for violation of one of my B2B rules. He is not pleased, but leaves anyway.
The next few days he calls me, checks on me, see how my week is progressing. On Wednesday he comes over for dinner. I cooked a wonderful meal of salmon, rice, steamed veggies, rolls, and apple pie a la mode. I threw down! He ate and ate and was asking for seconds. We had a great time talking, eating, laughing, and it seemed so familiar and comfortable. He told me that he wants to do something special for my birthday. I told him I would mostly likely start off somewhere having drinks with friends and he says he would come through. We move over to the sofa and watch tv, cuddling and enjoying the closeness, at least I was. We started kissing and things start to get too heated. Once again, he is asked to leave because I know where things are headed. He doesn't really like how I am controlling my emotions or urges and he accuses me of being manipulative. That accusation hurts my feelings because I feel like I was being honest with him about how I felt and what I wanted to see happen between us.
I thought he agreed but I realize now he went along thinking he would use penis persuasion to flip the script on me. I don't blame him for that really, it has worked in the past. Well, we have a bit of a argument and I said some things that I shouldn't have. My jazzy mouth gets me into trouble sometimes.
*sidenote* in the middle of that argument, his cell phone is ringing incessantly. He does the ole glance at the caller and ignore move. I told him he can speak to whomever he wants in front of me. We are just dating, he is free to talk to anybody. (ok that was bullshit, but it sounded great at the time, LOL)
Anyway, when my feelings get hurt I turn into an evil bitch and say hurtful things as evidenced by my response: "let me just break you off, so you can pull a disappearing act like you normally do", then I was just mean and said, it will only take 3 minutes anyway, right?(so wrong). Things just kind of came undone after that. He accused me of being a control freak (I don't deny that) and says I am really just toying with him, and have no real interest in him except to play games. (ha!)
I haven't heard from him and I am not sure if I will see him for my birthday. We had talked about going to a beach block party they were having in my community. This was going to be a great chance for us to be OUT and enjoy each others company. I couldn't reach him. I ended up going with somebody else and had a wonderful time, so I suppose it worked out for the best.
I am not too torn up about it because I feel like I gave him a chance to build something meaningful with me. Maybe my outlook on things is too restrictive for him.
So how do you lose a guy in 10 days? Well when you are trying to transition from booty call to boyfriend, you avoid sex like the plague and you see how long it takes for him to figure out how strong you are in your stance.…then you wait for true colors to be shown. Reflecting on how I feel right now, and based on what I have seen about our interactions, I came to the realization .... I don't want him. Dammit....Now how do you REALLY lose a guy in 10 days?
I went into the mission with one goal: maintain my stance on where I am and ask that he meet ME there, instead of the other way around like it historically has been between us. This was no easy feat. I tend to have a weakness for him and I ALWAYS let vagina logic creep in. This time I had a strong will to see, once and for all, if this man had what it takes to be in my life, on my terms, and at the same time find out if I could offer him what he needed without compromising me in the process.
Well things started out with more initiative on his part to spend vertical time with me. Just having him make effort has always been a point of contention with us and I don't know why. He feels like I should call him all the time and he actually keeps a tally on how much he calls me (irks the hell out of me and I let him know that). He continuously mentions the ratio of calls from him to me in proportion to my calls to him. This has always been an argument in the past, but this time, I refused to entertain that entire issue. I figure that I work full-time, in addition to taking some ass-kicking courses full-time, and I already have very little leisure time to even do things that I want to do ALONE, let alone time to think about calling him every free moment of every day, on top of planning (non-sexual) things for us to do.
Now, I have tried to be more accommodating for him in the past, when I was REALLY feeling him. I would call to hear his voice, call to check on him, plan stuff for us to do, but this time he is courting ME. This doesn't mean I expected him to do all the work, but I wanted to see effort on his part. So I wanted to sit back and watch his effort and I would RECIPROCATE. So I didn't call him, but I did return his calls, which, in my opinion, is more than fair. I figure we are waaay past that whole stage of I don't want to appear too needy, so I won't call too much or too often that is common with someone NEW. He ain't new in THAT sense.
So operation B2B commenced after our lunch date 10 days ago when I agreed to let him court me. He started out calling to check on me each day, and I think one morning, he even called to wish me a good day (first time!). He was supposed to attend Vibe Fest but his ticket hook up didn't come through. He calls me during the entire show, then when I left, he calls to see where I will be after the show, and we go back and forth on whether he will see me out or meet me at home. Finally, I head home and he tells me that he wants to "come over to hold me and go to sleep". I tell him there will be no sexing so that he knows upfront and he verbally agreed to that. He said he respects my wishes and just wants to be near me. The fireman sighting had me feeling like I needed to be held so I was using him for comfort. Not fair, but I knew that is why I was more agreeable.
So, on the way home he calls my cell and asks me to meet him because he is stopping for something to eat. I am hungry too so we get some food and head to my place. I can tell he has been drinking because he is really chatty and rambles on and on about nuthin. So we get to my place and he is telling me about the Tyson fiasco that he watched. He gets up and starts cleaning my kitchen. I am looking at him as if he had 9 heads. The kitchen had a few dishes in the sink but he starts wiping the counters down, sweeping the floors, and the whole time he is rambling about Tyson. Well it is already late so I take a shower and get in the bed. Mr. Clean finally tires and joins me and we go to sleep with some great spooning action (sweet!)
The next morning I am awakened by him trying to get morning loving. Now see? I am usually a big fan of morning lovin, I absolutely think mornings were made for it, but today is not the day to slip into our old habits. So Krpyt gets ejected for violation of one of my B2B rules. He is not pleased, but leaves anyway.
The next few days he calls me, checks on me, see how my week is progressing. On Wednesday he comes over for dinner. I cooked a wonderful meal of salmon, rice, steamed veggies, rolls, and apple pie a la mode. I threw down! He ate and ate and was asking for seconds. We had a great time talking, eating, laughing, and it seemed so familiar and comfortable. He told me that he wants to do something special for my birthday. I told him I would mostly likely start off somewhere having drinks with friends and he says he would come through. We move over to the sofa and watch tv, cuddling and enjoying the closeness, at least I was. We started kissing and things start to get too heated. Once again, he is asked to leave because I know where things are headed. He doesn't really like how I am controlling my emotions or urges and he accuses me of being manipulative. That accusation hurts my feelings because I feel like I was being honest with him about how I felt and what I wanted to see happen between us.
I thought he agreed but I realize now he went along thinking he would use penis persuasion to flip the script on me. I don't blame him for that really, it has worked in the past. Well, we have a bit of a argument and I said some things that I shouldn't have. My jazzy mouth gets me into trouble sometimes.
*sidenote* in the middle of that argument, his cell phone is ringing incessantly. He does the ole glance at the caller and ignore move. I told him he can speak to whomever he wants in front of me. We are just dating, he is free to talk to anybody. (ok that was bullshit, but it sounded great at the time, LOL)
Anyway, when my feelings get hurt I turn into an evil bitch and say hurtful things as evidenced by my response: "let me just break you off, so you can pull a disappearing act like you normally do", then I was just mean and said, it will only take 3 minutes anyway, right?(so wrong). Things just kind of came undone after that. He accused me of being a control freak (I don't deny that) and says I am really just toying with him, and have no real interest in him except to play games. (ha!)
I haven't heard from him and I am not sure if I will see him for my birthday. We had talked about going to a beach block party they were having in my community. This was going to be a great chance for us to be OUT and enjoy each others company. I couldn't reach him. I ended up going with somebody else and had a wonderful time, so I suppose it worked out for the best.
I am not too torn up about it because I feel like I gave him a chance to build something meaningful with me. Maybe my outlook on things is too restrictive for him.
So how do you lose a guy in 10 days? Well when you are trying to transition from booty call to boyfriend, you avoid sex like the plague and you see how long it takes for him to figure out how strong you are in your stance.…then you wait for true colors to be shown. Reflecting on how I feel right now, and based on what I have seen about our interactions, I came to the realization .... I don't want him. Dammit....Now how do you REALLY lose a guy in 10 days?
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