Stealth Lover
So I am talking to a friend of mine (who shall remain nameless or else he would murder me) about his alleged complaints about his girlfriend being a stealth lover. A stealth lover is someone who performs sexual acts on their partner whilst sleeping. Aside from using Rophynol, I argued that I seriously don't see how a sober, full-functioning, able-bodied, grown-ass male could possibly fall "victim" to a stealth lover. How would he NOT know that his pleasure pole is being tampered with? How could he NOT feel the kegel muscles contracting?
*sidebar: What does it say about him that his girl likes his ass to be sleep while she gets hers? LMAO!! His ego didn't like that question so I left that one alone*
Now being a fairly adventurous kinda gal, I was intrigued because I had little knowledge of what this really entails. Surely, there is not a secret revolution going on that I don't know about. Whoever started the legal stealth lover trend is a frickin genius.
Is it possible that I endured that lame ass dude with his horrible attempts at dirty talking, when all that time, I could have been a stealth lover?!
Who does this? What are the tips? How can I ensure that a bastid won't awaken and ruin my tryst yet still deliver me that mind blowing orgasm that I would want?
I don't want to go to jail (ya'll know the diva doesn't do orange jumpsuits) but if there is a way to get up in the middle of the night, get my rocks off, and go back to sleep without hearing: "just lick it for a few minutes" or "was it good?" or "bet you never had it like that, huh?" ....ohhh boy!! Imagine all the time I could save, the annoyance that I could be spared, LOL!
I think I should try to do some research. I just need a healthy male with narcoleptic tendencies to practice on. I wonder if I could find some volunteers.
*sidebar: What does it say about him that his girl likes his ass to be sleep while she gets hers? LMAO!! His ego didn't like that question so I left that one alone*
Now being a fairly adventurous kinda gal, I was intrigued because I had little knowledge of what this really entails. Surely, there is not a secret revolution going on that I don't know about. Whoever started the legal stealth lover trend is a frickin genius.
Is it possible that I endured that lame ass dude with his horrible attempts at dirty talking, when all that time, I could have been a stealth lover?!
Who does this? What are the tips? How can I ensure that a bastid won't awaken and ruin my tryst yet still deliver me that mind blowing orgasm that I would want?
I don't want to go to jail (ya'll know the diva doesn't do orange jumpsuits) but if there is a way to get up in the middle of the night, get my rocks off, and go back to sleep without hearing: "just lick it for a few minutes" or "was it good?" or "bet you never had it like that, huh?" ....ohhh boy!! Imagine all the time I could save, the annoyance that I could be spared, LOL!
I think I should try to do some research. I just need a healthy male with narcoleptic tendencies to practice on. I wonder if I could find some volunteers.
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