Bullet Proof Soul

This indie film starred Hill Harper (one of the most under-rated actors in Folly Wood) as Michael and Marlyne Afflack (very beautiful sista) as Jasmine. Part of the film title was based on a metaphor from African-Caribbean history. Slaves rarely received meat for their meals; when they did, they savored all of it. So Jasmine and Michael have to “eat the bones”, i.e. suck the marrow from life, take the bitter with the sweet, the good with the bad, in order to realize the potential of the love between them.

Sometimes when you are watching a film you relate to the character(s) so well, it’s downright eerie. It is like someone peeked into your private life and wrote a screenplay! Well when I saw this movie it immediately took me back to what I went through with psycho cop and uhh fireman. (yea that is the Learning curve revisited: Never date the same dude with a different name).

Psycho cop earned this title because he completely lost his damn mind when I ended things. Mr.I ain't the type to trip over no broad.(um yea unless by NOT tripping you mean parking in my driveway at 2 a.m., having ya boys tail me in the grocery store, and breaking into my apartment and vandalizing my garage…yea..that's not trippin…that's called INSANITY.)…was addicted to porn, and I don't mean slightly addicted.

Then there was Fireman (aka jellyfish: no spine) ALSO heavily into porn. Coincidence? I think not! More like proof positive that divas make BAD choices sometimes!

In the film, Michael has a fixation on a porn queen (Marieka Weathered) and his porn addiction eventually leads to major conflict in his relationship with Jasmine, who has been celibate since her last bad break up (been there, done that). It was WEIRD watching this, I about fell off my sofa in disbelief! Some of the dialogue was so on point.

Psycho Cop had an unhealthy fixation on Janet Jacme and his collection and time spent on flicks were, in my opinion way over the top. Now I know some guys have a few in their collection for recreational purposes, but this dude was past that. He could get a medal for the amount of hours spent watching those things!

Fireman had a more diverse taste in porn, and he really didn’t' discriminate! Asian, black, white, Filapino..he liked it ALL. Again, his collection went past the "appropriate" fit-in-a-shoe box level. Nooo, this dude had trash bags full of them! TRASH BAGS!! Some of them were still at his mother's house! (that's just wrong!).

Now both of these dudes wanted me in on the viewing and to be honest after a few obligatory screenings, it got to be old and tiring. I started to get irked that this was even an issue at all. I am all for spicing up things but I got enough skills to handle my bitness! I just can not, and will not compete with porn stars! Hell no! Especially since it was fairly early in the relationship to even be addressing what THEY wanted in the bedroom. But I went along with it and obliged the guys with watching them and I NEVER said …ANYTHING! Just stupid on my part, really. I just think some things should be saved for when you are in a closer, committed relationship and both of these guys were on the "wait and see" program.

It was weird because at no point through my brief non-relationship with Fireman did a déjà vu read flag smack me in the head. What in the hell was I thinking? Do I block out past lessons in order to ease my concerns that are clearly valid? How often do I disregard intuitions and instincts because the new guy seems "so great"?

I am holding to this lesson: never date the same guy with a different name. If there are character traits that I didn't like in another dude, I should pay attention if they surface in the new guy. Now I wouldn't compare the guys to the point of thinking they are the exact replica of each other, but it makes sense to understand what I will and will not tolerate and use the same logic to determine incompatibility in each new potential. It's the wise thing to do.