Crazy in Love
I have worked in the mental health field for years and we normally don't like to use the word "crazy" when referring to patients. I still have a job back home at a psychiatric facility. Every time I try to quit, my boss makes me feel guilty so I hang in another year because I enjoy working in the crisis center.
I remember when I first started working on the unit as a counselor. There was a young girl that was admitted who was my age. She was diagnosed with Psychosis (induced by drugs) in college and had been in and out of facilities since that time. When I first approached her she was extremely hostile. She ridiculed my clothes, my looks, and constantly took jabs at me. She would have extreme mood swings though, and in the next few minutes she would act like we were old friends. Working in the mental health field, I learned that you never take it personally or return insults.
Well one day she gets a visitor. An extremely handsome, well-dressed man introduces himself to me as her fiancé. He asked me about her progress and wanted to know when she could be released. I began asking him a few probing questions because I was curious about the dynamics of their relationship.
He told me how they met when she was in college. He said she was beautiful, sweet, and smart. She was majoring in biology (like me) and had plans to become a medical doctor (just as I did in college). He said that she had a wild girl streak and would often party really hard on the weekends. One particular weekend, she consumed some drugs at a party that sent her spiraling. The sweet, smart girl became detached from reality, hostile, defiant, and out of control. She had started out hearing voices then things escalated to numerous suicide attempts. By the time she was at our facility, she had tried to kill herself and her fiancé on at least 3 occasions. I asked him how he handles all the stress that comes with loving someone who was mentally ill and he just looked at me and said, I don’t see her as being sick, I see the woman I love.
Wow. I was speechless.
I wondered how I would cope if I was involved with someone for a long time only to discover that they were mentally ill.
Would my fears and trepidation prevent me from being supportive? Could I stand by them while they grapple with their condition? I know that some medications could aid in managing some mental disorders, but would I want to contend with this all the time?
I hear all those tragic stories about women who died at the hands of their boyfriends, husbands, or lovers and I wonder how many of those same men were mentally ill prior to the tragedy. How many signs are missed that something was terribly wrong with the person that they love? How many women decide to stay after learning their man was unstable and fell victim to his violence?
I talked with my mother who works at the same psychiatric hospital. She said that the young lady was admitted again this past weekend. She actually remembered me and has been asking about me. Mother also said that she married that young man and he was with her when she came in. Clearly he is enduring the hardships and sticking with her.
Is this what it means to be crazy in love?
I remember when I first started working on the unit as a counselor. There was a young girl that was admitted who was my age. She was diagnosed with Psychosis (induced by drugs) in college and had been in and out of facilities since that time. When I first approached her she was extremely hostile. She ridiculed my clothes, my looks, and constantly took jabs at me. She would have extreme mood swings though, and in the next few minutes she would act like we were old friends. Working in the mental health field, I learned that you never take it personally or return insults.
Well one day she gets a visitor. An extremely handsome, well-dressed man introduces himself to me as her fiancé. He asked me about her progress and wanted to know when she could be released. I began asking him a few probing questions because I was curious about the dynamics of their relationship.
He told me how they met when she was in college. He said she was beautiful, sweet, and smart. She was majoring in biology (like me) and had plans to become a medical doctor (just as I did in college). He said that she had a wild girl streak and would often party really hard on the weekends. One particular weekend, she consumed some drugs at a party that sent her spiraling. The sweet, smart girl became detached from reality, hostile, defiant, and out of control. She had started out hearing voices then things escalated to numerous suicide attempts. By the time she was at our facility, she had tried to kill herself and her fiancé on at least 3 occasions. I asked him how he handles all the stress that comes with loving someone who was mentally ill and he just looked at me and said, I don’t see her as being sick, I see the woman I love.
Wow. I was speechless.
I wondered how I would cope if I was involved with someone for a long time only to discover that they were mentally ill.
Would my fears and trepidation prevent me from being supportive? Could I stand by them while they grapple with their condition? I know that some medications could aid in managing some mental disorders, but would I want to contend with this all the time?
I hear all those tragic stories about women who died at the hands of their boyfriends, husbands, or lovers and I wonder how many of those same men were mentally ill prior to the tragedy. How many signs are missed that something was terribly wrong with the person that they love? How many women decide to stay after learning their man was unstable and fell victim to his violence?
I talked with my mother who works at the same psychiatric hospital. She said that the young lady was admitted again this past weekend. She actually remembered me and has been asking about me. Mother also said that she married that young man and he was with her when she came in. Clearly he is enduring the hardships and sticking with her.
Is this what it means to be crazy in love?
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